The Photograph Collective: Namesake

  “Namesake” by Amanda Liew We each have our own struggles, and mine is with love. For years, the lies I told myself have consumed me: You don’t deserve it You won’t ever have it You aren’t worth it You aren’t worth it You aren’t worth it You’ll never be worth it. There was a cry to God, One from the depths of my heart. And suddenly He made me remember: “Amanda. Worthy of love.” A literal translation. A declaration. A title. A namesake chosen before my birth to battle my greatest fear. A promise I can never run from. Amanda, You are worth it You are worth it You are worth it You’ll always be worth it. Love.

It's been such an amazing experience seeing The Photograph Collective take off. Our second project was on Self Portraits, and I chose to focus on my namesake. There was a time in my life when I was particularly struggling with being able to accept that I was worthy of love. From broken relationships to promises that were not kept, I allowed myself to interpret others' actions as a reflection of my own worth. When I was at Martha's Vineyard for FOCUS camp a few years ago, I was praying and sobbing with God - just wrestling over this emptiness and pain that I couldn't seem to get rid of. And then all of a sudden I heard "Amanda. Worthy of love." I realized then and there that yes, my name was a direct counter to my greatest struggle. It was a moment that left me in awe - to suddenly realize that before I was even born, God gave me a name so significant. A constant reminder that I was worthy of love, and more than anything worthy of His love.

To view the full post along with other projects, go to The Photograph Collective: http://thephotographcollective.com/2014/07/21/namesake-by-amanda-liew/

On Self-Portraits

Our Digital Photography course has moved along to portraiture which has been...very interesting. We have 4 categories: Strangers, Intimacy (Friends/Family), Self-Portrait, and Choice. I've found self-portraits and strangers particularly difficult to shoot, but it's definitely a learning experience! On one hand, there's instant embarrassment. I'm essentially taking glorified selfies! Except it's way harder with a DSLR... I had to play around with timers, shooting with my hand on the trigger, and being able to frame myself without being able to look through the view finder! At the same time, there's the question of "What do I want to convey?" Of course, my first instinct is to shoot photos where I like how I look! Our professor asked us to think about what we wanted to show a viewer. Certain artists like Cindy Sherman and Nikki S. Lee take on characters for their self portraits - does that still count? Does the photo have to be an accurate representation of who you are and what you look like? What if it represents how you view yourself? There are so many different things to question and debate! We've also been talking about naming photographs and how that affects a viewer's interpretation. I think personally that I prefer to have my words/photos/etc. interpreted the way I originally intended. I mean, I have a blog to explain my photos! But maybe for this post, I'll put my captions and explanations below my photos. For my first photo in particular, I'm curious as to how people will interpret it without my explanation! I've made my explanation in white font, so just highlight over it to read my own take!

Highlight over the paragraph to read my explanation:

This first photo is inspired by my own coming to terms with my Asian identity. I thought it would be interesting to borrow a blonde wig from my friend Cameron and try to capture the inside turmoil of "trying to be White." When I was little, I defined beauty as blonde hair and blue eyes. I thought this would be an interesting opportunity to test that theory out. I wish I had more props - I would have loved to get some pictures of myself putting in blue contacts or putting on a much paler shade of makeup. So many options! This was also one of the first photos that I started using photoshop on. My face was much darker than the rest of the photo because of the wig, and I was able to use the Dodge tool to expose just my face - very cool!

I love this photo because I think it captures my laugh perfectly! I really wish I had a dainty laugh, but instead I throw my head back, laugh with a HUGE open smile, make one HAHA and then silently laugh the rest of the way through. It's utterly embarrassing and unattractive, but hey - it's how I laugh!

Finally I wanted to play around with gaze. It's really interesting how the subject's gaze can change the entire feel of the photo. In this photo, I wanted my gaze to go straight through to the viewer. The natural lighting from the window also casts some shadows which adds to this level of emotion that I don't think would be there otherwise.

At the end of it all, I'm going through hundreds of photos of myself on Bridge and still can't take myself seriously. I burst out laughing at some of the more ridiculous faces/emotions I try on, and I'm almost embarrassed for myself. But alas, I guess these are the emotions that come with self-portraits!

Any thoughts?